Thursday, June 28, 2012

the most evil thing on the planet

is this:

it's the most evil thing that man could invent!!!!!

why can't a man make a weed eater that is "woman friendly"?????????

i don't mind mowing the grass. heck! i even do it with a SELF-powered PUSH mower!!!! and i LOVE it!!! i don't mind edging.

but i dislike hate detest loathe abhor do not love weed eating. it's not the eatING, it's the eatERS.

i have never found one that a woman can use. men seem to have no problem with them. well, then, MEN should be the ones weed eating!

for the last few years when kevin & sarah lived next door, kevin would mow & weed eat & i would babysit for them. it was a good great arrangement. i didn't have to worry about fighting with the stupid weed eater & they got "date nights" every week.

(i wish i could have a date night!)

back to the subject at hand:

this spring i bought a new weed eater since kevin quit being my yard service moved. it came "loaded" with a spool of "line". worked just fine 2 or 3 times. then out of the blue it started to wrap the line around the motor thing underneath the spool of line. tightly.

it would wrap a TON of line around the thing. until the line was gone. to get it off, you'd have to cut it which meant it was no good.

when i bought the evil thing i bought 2 refills - preloaded refills. i followed the directions, put the contraption on exactly like they had the 1st one. what happens? the line wraps around the motor thing! i cut it off & start over. it wraps. i cut. it cuts off long pieces, too short to reattach. it wraps. i cut. it wraps the hole thing til there's no more line. it's so tight & tangled that it's almost impossible to get it off, but i persevere & get it all off.

makes me mad!!!! looks kinda cool without a flash, but still makes me mad!

i put the 2nd refill on. it wraps. it cuts off long pieces & short pieces & wraps. as many times as i get it untangled, it tangles. til there's no more line on the 2nd refill.

by this time it's 8:30 pm. i have been fighting with this stupid evil thing since 7:00 pm. all i wanted to do was mow my grass & weed eat around the fence & the flower beds. all i was able to do was this:

one side & one corner of the flower bed.

AND THEN THE THING EVIL THING BIT ME!!! right through my jeans!!!!

it hurts.

real bad.

i have never written to a manufacturer & told them how dissatisfied disgusted i was with their product, but I AM GOING TO NOW!!! gonna give them a piece of my mind!

so i just mowed. i got about 2/3 of the football field yard mowed before it was too dark to see & i wasn't totally eaten by mosquitos. and while i was mowing & sweating up a storm, i was thinking about this:

when every baby girl is born, she should be given the name of a baby boy & that boy should be given her name. when the baby girl & the baby boy are 22 years old, they should meet, begin to court & make plans to be married. the boy should take care of the girl. he should build her a nice house for her to take care of while he goes to work so that when he comes home he will have a nice calming place to rest & relax. the girl should spend her days making the home a lovely place, washing the boy's laundry, ironing his shirts, cooking his meals, & raising beautiful babies for the boy. she will make him blackberry cobblers & rub his back. he will love her & protect her & hold her & kiss her & scare away monsters. AND WEED EAT.

or how about this scenario:

whenever a woman's husband decides he doesn't love her anymore & leaves her in the middle of the night with no warning & divorces her, she should wait about 5 years during which time she will heal. she will realize all the mistakes she made, ask God for forgiveness, promise to do things differently "the next time", & come to the point she is ready for another relationship. she will meet a handsome man, they will fall in love & get married. she'll do for the man all the things that girl above will do and the man will WEED EAT FOR HER for the rest of her life.

well, it's too late for me for the 1st scenario and i am SO READY for the 2nd one!!!! i've got the wedding vows all written -- he'll say: "i promise to love, honor, cherish & weed eat for you in sickness & in health, for richer, for poorer......for the rest of your life, so help me God."

so now i just need to find a man with a weed eater! i've shortened my list of criteria. he must love God & have a weed eater!


Laurie said...

Gosh, sorry to hear about your weed eating woes! Brad says if you bought a eater that is supposed to be tapped on the ground (or something like that), that is the reason he doesn't buy that kind.... he hates them and they don't work. SO, if you bought that kind of weed eater, craigslist it and get one that doesn't need tapping on the ground. That was a man's advice coming at you second hand.

dorothy erdely said...

laurie - tell brad i got the kind that you don't have to TAP! it's supposed to "self-feed" - well, it sure does!!!!!!

Lynn @ UpCountry Olio said...

This is too cute! I couldn't agree more..a man who will weed eat for you is a totally keeper!