Tuesday, August 2, 2011

it's been a rough week -

(pretend there are really neat pictures in this post.)

(the only pictures on my computer that i haven't posted yet are christmas pictures & i'm just too hot to be in the mood to post those!!!)

please pray for me. 

it's been a rough week.  satan is REALLY attacking me.  it's vacation bible school week at church this week.  ours is in the evenings because the church is small & most all who help work during the day so we have to have it in the evenings. 

i think i'm tired.

i've been super busy at work.  i'm going in early so i can leave early.  i've been having trouble sleeping, so i'm tired.  i haven't been eating right this past week.  just not really in the mood to eat, so i'm going long stretches between meals & that's not good.  my blood levels are ok -- but i'm tense & irritable.  and i'm not eating the right things.

i've been working hard on vbs stuff for the past month  & honestly, i'm just tired of it already!!!!!   i'd really just like to go to bed rather than go to vbs!  but i HAVE to go - i'm the craft lady!!!!!  and the scenery lady!!!!!  & the t-shirt lady!!!!

i WANT to be there, but my mind & heart's just not in it at the moment.

this weekend had been a turmoil of emotions too.  suzanne informed me that she doesn't need me to go to college with her - she can move into her dorm room on her own - it's no big deal, she's done it before!  i'm glad she's mature & independent but i feel like i've been fired from my job!!!   i'm taking a week of vacation so while she makes a little side trip to san antonio on her way to dallas, i'll be in the (lonely) virgin islands.

all by myself.

(i'm going to have to get busy & take a ton of pictures so i can have them on the computer to post here!  need some pictures of break up the monotony of all the words!!!)

and to top it off, my best friend-neighbor-pastor's wife & family are moving - to alabama at the end of this month!!!!!  i feel like my family is all running away & leaving me in the dust!!!  i feel like there's a big hole in my family & in my church.  what am i going to do when i'm stamping at 3 am & need something ---it's not like i can just run next door to alabama!!!!!  or what if i need just 4 tablespoons of butter & don't want to go to the grocery store because i've been there already.  or what if sarah needs something - i'm gonna miss her middle of the night visits!

why are so many people leaving?  what's wrong?  we have a really sound church.  why can't people work out their differences & problems & get along?  why does everyone have to run away?    (*****i am not saying kevin & sarah are running away.*****but other people have run away.  i just don't understand it.)

i know i have to trust God & that He'll work it all out & He knows what's going to happen & & & &......but it's easier to SAY that than to BELIEVE it.

plus there are other things going on (that i don't want to talk about!) & i'm just not dealing with it all with a very christian attitude.

i think a good cry would do me good.  but i can't even do that right now.  just the other day i was thinking as i was driving home from work how really happy i was.  things weren't great, but still i was happy. 

satan can't stand it when i'm happy.  because he's been working overtime to make me not happy!  i don't want him to win!

i'm going to go to bed now.  (pretend there's another pretty, interesting picture here!!!!)

sorry if this is depressing you - i don't mean to do that.   & i don't want to always be a sour puss. 

some days are just like that.

i'll be ok.  i promise.  good night.

 be blessed!

& be a blessing!!


Amy said...

I love you Dorothy! You've done a great job on the scenery, crafts, T-shirts and everything! Don't give up! Don't let the enemy win!

I've been asking some of the same questions, which have no answers. And I agree.. it's easier to SAY than believe. But maybe if we SAY it often enough to ourselves (and others) we'll start to believe it? :-)

We are always at our weakest when we are tired. I try not to think to much when I am tired. It takes me down into a spiral of depression.

Could you use a hug tonight?

Anonymous said...

i love you too amy!

and i could use a hug EVERY night!!!! and every day too!!!!!