(pretend there are really neat pictures in this post.)
(the only pictures on my computer that i haven't posted yet are christmas pictures & i'm just too hot to be in the mood to post those!!!)
please pray for me.
it's been a rough week. satan is REALLY attacking me. it's vacation bible school week at church this week. ours is in the evenings because the church is small & most all who help work during the day so we have to have it in the evenings.
i think i'm tired.
i've been super busy at work. i'm going in early so i can leave early. i've been having trouble sleeping, so i'm tired. i haven't been eating right this past week. just not really in the mood to eat, so i'm going long stretches between meals & that's not good. my blood levels are ok -- but i'm tense & irritable. and i'm not eating the right things.
i've been working hard on vbs stuff for the past month & honestly, i'm just tired of it already!!!!! i'd really just like to go to bed rather than go to vbs! but i HAVE to go - i'm the craft lady!!!!! and the scenery lady!!!!! & the t-shirt lady!!!!
i WANT to be there, but my mind & heart's just not in it at the moment.
this weekend had been a turmoil of emotions too. suzanne informed me that she doesn't need me to go to college with her - she can move into her dorm room on her own - it's no big deal, she's done it before! i'm glad she's mature & independent but i feel like i've been fired from my job!!! i'm taking a week of vacation so while she makes a little side trip to san antonio on her way to dallas, i'll be in the (lonely) virgin islands.
all by myself.
(i'm going to have to get busy & take a ton of pictures so i can have them on the computer to post here! need some pictures of break up the monotony of all the words!!!)
and to top it off, my best friend-neighbor-pastor's wife & family are moving - to alabama at the end of this month!!!!! i feel like my family is all running away & leaving me in the dust!!! i feel like there's a big hole in my family & in my church. what am i going to do when i'm stamping at 3 am & need something ---it's not like i can just run next door to alabama!!!!! or what if i need just 4 tablespoons of butter & don't want to go to the grocery store because i've been there already. or what if sarah needs something - i'm gonna miss her middle of the night visits!
why are so many people leaving? what's wrong? we have a really sound church. why can't people work out their differences & problems & get along? why does everyone have to run away? (*****i am not saying kevin & sarah are running away.*****but other people have run away. i just don't understand it.)
i know i have to trust God & that He'll work it all out & He knows what's going to happen & & & &......but it's easier to SAY that than to BELIEVE it.
plus there are other things going on (that i don't want to talk about!) & i'm just not dealing with it all with a very christian attitude.
i think a good cry would do me good. but i can't even do that right now. just the other day i was thinking as i was driving home from work how really happy i was. things weren't great, but still i was happy.
satan can't stand it when i'm happy. because he's been working overtime to make me not happy! i don't want him to win!
i'm going to go to bed now. (pretend there's another pretty, interesting picture here!!!!)
sorry if this is depressing you - i don't mean to do that. & i don't want to always be a sour puss.
some days are just like that.
i'll be ok. i promise. good night.
& be a blessing!!