Sunday, November 11, 2012

CRAP!!!!!


and you need to say that word with 2 syllables!

CA - RAP!

or it could be

CUR - APP!

or you could say it

CUR - RAPP!

OR YOU COULD SAY

POOP!!! or something else like

SH....





SHOOT! (what were YOU thinking???!!!)

well, apparently i wasn't thinking!!!!

it started out a good day.

it didn't end a good day.

i got up early, went up to church because we had "gardening day" & since i'm 50% of the "gardening committee" i sorta hadta be there.

but that was all fine. we got the whole rose bed that spans the entire length of the church weeded & pruned plus the pastor & his family weeded the whole flowerbed on the one side of the chapel.

after a long day (7:45 til 2:30) at the church, i came home & cleaned out the inside of my car, washed the windows, dusted, vacuumed the interior & then washed the outside. got it all dried off, walked into the garage just long enough to step inside & hang the drying chamois cloth on the ladder which is right at the entrance & walked back outside to find my car COMPLETELY WET! in a matter of probably 8 seconds, it rained!!!

and then it stopped.

so i used some scratch buffer stuff & buffed out some JERK'S fingernail scratches down the whole side of my car --- what's wrong with people? did that idiot get a lot of satisfaction doing that to my car?? i hope so, because he's gonna pay for it at the judgement!!

then it started to sprinkle again, so i pulled the car into the garage & dried it again!

then i went next door & talked to my neighbor lady for a little bit, came home & did a load of laundry. when i put the clothes in the dryer & started it, it was making a horrible noise. sounded like tennis shoes in the dryer -- you know how they make that loud thumping noise when they hit the inside of the drum? or a brick.

i checked the load & all it was was pants & shirts. no shoes. no brick.

but the noise continued throughout the entire drying cycle. i got a sick feeling in my stomach -- i just did a blog post on my cute laundry room & now my dryer's going out! i don't have the $$ for a new dryer. i seriously thought about opening up the top while it was running to see if i could see anything wrong in there, like a broken belt or something that wasn't supposed to be in there!! & i thought "do dryers even HAVE belts??? no, i'm not gonna look, i'm just gonna ignore it & pray everything's ok" !!! i guess i'll be hanging clothes out on the line to dry. (which is NOT a bad thing! i used to do it ALL the time growing up & even when the kids were little i had a clothesline out in the back yard - til it broke & i never replaced it. but i thought about it all summer -- i want a clothesline again. i love the smell of sheets dried outside!!! i'm going to do that soon!)

anyways, after that load was done, i put in a load of towels.

no noise!

both loads seemed to have dried just fine, no noise, maybe the dryer doesn't need to be replaced/repaired!!!!

YAY!!!!

so while these clothes are drying, i was in the craft room stamping tractors.

(isn't that what every single girl does on a saturday night???)

i borrowed a tractor set from a friend & stamped a bunch of tractors so i could have them to make guy cards any time i wanted. i stood up to go cut a piece of paper & when i went to sit back down, the chair rolled out from under me & i fell straight to the ground & hit the back of my head on the chair.

OHMYGOODNESS!! i saw stars! it felt like my teeth had been jammed up into my head! i now have the worst headache, i have a huge goose egg on the back of my head & it's so painful it feels like the skin is open (but it's not). i don't think i have a concussion, but i don't really want to go to bed just yet to be safe!

sooooooooooooooo, i think i'll fold the clothes! i gather up all my stuff to take to church in the morning & put it next to my purse so i won't forget anything. i look in my purse to get my phone to set next to the bed because i use it as my alarm. there's no phone in my purse. i'm trying to think where i had it last.......

i then got that sick feeling in my stomach again. only this time it was WORSE. i knew EXACTLY where my phone was. in the pocket of the denim shirt i wore to church. when i came home, i took it off so i wouldn't get my phone wet when i washed the car! and when i was doing the laundry, i grabbed the shirt off the back of the chair & tossed it in the washer.

i now have the cleanest phone in town.



it doesn't work, but it's clean! and the water droplets inside the screen SPARKLE like diamonds!!!

that's not dirt or grease, that's the water inside the screen!

and even though it got dried in the dryer, it's still full of water! i took the battery cover off & water poured out! and the little red mark that tells the phone people that it got wet is BRIGHT RED! they put those things in there on purpose, ya know. and i have a sick feeling it voids all insurance!

it's dead as a doornail. (what the heck IS a doornail, anyways?????)

it wasn't anything fancy, just a "dumb phone". but the owner is even dumber!

and i'm trying to remember if i got the insurance??? doesn't matter. even with the insurance, whenever you have to replace a phone, it still costs you close to a hundred bucks just to walk out of the store!

i don't want to buy a new phone.
i don't have the money to buy a new phone.
i don't want to have to learn how to use a new phone.
i don't want a "smart phone".
i just want my old "dumb phone".
my old "dumb phone" worked just fine.
it was a PHONE. that's all i need.

i hear the new "dumb phones" are pretty smart.

but i don't care! i just want a PHONE.
a dumb phone.
for a dumb girl.



now i've got no phone, 2 headaches & a sick stomach, but i learned something today---

a dumb phone in the pocket of a denim shirt in the dryer sounds a lot like tennis shoes.......or a brick!

AND, it won't be ringing in the middle of the sermon tomorrow!!!

i wish i could just re-wind this day to about 5:30 pm & have a do-over!

CA - RAP!!!!

4 comments:

nbprov32 said...

take phone apart as much as yu can and put ALL THE PARTS in a bag of rice. leave for a day or two... the rice will magically (ok-not really magic but the word kind of works and i am too tired to think of another word like .... uh... i said i was tired....) absorbs the moisture.... it won't tun the red dot to not red but it might save the phone....

Sue said...

Put your phone in a bowl of uncooked rice. Just totally submerge it. I've heard plenty of people say that dries it out. I think I even had to do it once. And it works.

Laurie said...

I;m so sorry! I know it's my fault, because I am the reason you had the phone in your denim shirt pocket! And then I never called. I feel really bad!

dorothy erdely said...

it's FULL of water - at least it was til i poured it out!!! now it's only 1/2 full!!!! and then there's the fact that i DRIED it in a hot dryer too -- not sure if that affects anything adversely or not.....the rice might dry it, i've heard of that "trick" too, but i've heard it takes days & i'm not sure i want to wait days!!!!! (coming from someone who's seriously considering "going phoneless"!!!!!) (at least it was cool in church today & i didn't have to "go topless"!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

laurie, it's NOT your fault!!! i should have taken it out of the pocket. i should have CHECKED the pocket before i threw it in the wash! but i've been doing wash for 40 some years & i NEVER check the pockets!!!!!! my dad used to have gross old handkerchiefs in his pockets--yuck!!!! i hated that!!!! & one time my brother put a frog in his jeans pocket. & left it there. & the frog died. & he put the jeans in the wash. & i checked the pockets & found the frog AND THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I CHECKED POCKETS!!!!!!!! john used to get so mad at me because i'd never check pockets! (maybe that's why he divorced me!?!?!?!!!! -- NOT!!!) anyhow, now that it's just me & MY laundry, i never put anything in my pockets, so i never have to check them!!!!! it's MY fault!!!!