well, He's done it again!
you know how i wrote the other day that i've been trying to live philippians 4:11-13.......well last night on the way home from prayer meeting i was talking to God. i was telling Him that even though i am content, i have mixed feelings. i am content. but i'm not happy. but isn't happiness contentment? it could be. it might be. sometimes it is. sometimes not. i was thanking God that He's my father & i can tell Him anything & everything. and i say it out loud. and i tell Him things that i could never voice in front of anyone else. i was thanking Him that i have the priviledge of talking to Him. out loud. and He's usually very quiet during these times.
He just listens.
and He lets me rant & rave & tell Him everything. and He lets me cry. and He doesn't tell me not to.
He just listens. and He loves me.
i was telling Him that i KNOW He wants the best for me & He WILL take care of all my needs. ALL my needs. i was telling Him that i want to know what He wants for me & that i want to be the kind of Godly woman He wants me to be. i told Him i just didn't understand His timing & didn't know why my prayers weren't seeming to be answered when other people's seem to be answered before they're even finished praying. i told God exactly what i wanted but that i wanted everything to be lined up with His will. and i was telling myself that i need to really want God's will to be God's will and not MY will.
i have this written in the front of my Bible: "for God's will be be done, my will needs to be done." (my will needs to be finished! over with! done!)
He just listened.
i had told my friends at prayer meeting that i just felt like crawling in bed & crying. sometimes you just need one of those refreshing good cries. well, i did that when i got home. and i talked to God some more & cried some more. then fell asleep.
this morning here's my proverbs31woman devotional!!!! God WAS listening to me last night!!!!
(highlights for emphasis = mine)
September 15, 2011
When God Hurts Your Feelings
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:12-13 (NIV 1984)
Has God ever hurt your feelings? I’ll be honest, sometimes I’ll read those verses from Philippians listed above and think to myself, “This is a tough pill to swallow.” Content in any and every situation? Really?
Several years ago my daughter was a state champion gymnast. To see her do gymnastics was like looking at God smile. She was beautiful, graceful, and captivating to watch. One night while practicing for one of the largest tournaments she’d ever compete in, she fell. It was a move she’d done hundreds of times with the greatest of ease. But this time something went terribly wrong and that one mistake ended her gymnastic dreams. We spent a year going from doctor to doctor only to be told she’d never be able to support the weight of her body on her injured shoulder again. I’ll be honest, this was heart wrenching. Watching a 14 year old girl wrestle with the fact her dreams were stripped from her doesn’t exactly lend itself to feelings of contentment. Now, I know in the grand scheme of life, people face much worse situations. But in her world, this was huge.
It was so tempting to wallow in the “why” questions and tell God He’d hurt our feelings. Why did this happen? Why didn’t You stop this God? Why weren’t my prayers answered?
Have you ever been there? Have you ever had a big situation in your life where you just couldn’t process why God would allow this to happen? Or maybe even a small annoyance like losing your keys or having a flat tire on a morning you really needed to be somewhere. It’s so tempting to wallow in the why. Asking why is perfectly normal. Asking why isn’t unspiritual. However, if asking why pushes us farther from God rather than drawing us closer to Him, it is the wrong question. If asking why doesn’t offer hope, what will? The what question.
In other words: “Now that this is my reality, what am I supposed to do with it?”
Philippians 4:8, “Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (NIV)
I like to call this verse “directions on where to park my mind.” And that’s exactly what Ashley has had to do with her dashed gymnastics dreams. Instead of wallowing in why did this happen, I’ve had to help her say:
This is my reality, now what am I going to do with it?
What can I learn from this?
What part of this is for my protection?
What other opportunities could God be providing?
What maturity could God be building into me?
Switching from the why to the what question paves the road to parking our mind in a much better place.
Is it always easy? Nope.
But is it a way to find a perspective beyond situations where we feel God has allowed something in our lives we don’t understand and we absolutely don’t like? Yes. I pray this helps you today.
Dear Lord, I want to process everything I face in life through the filter of Your love. I know You love me. But sometimes it’s just hard to understand the circumstances that come my way. I find myself consumed with trying to figure things out rather than looking for Your perspective and trusting You. Thank You for this new way to look at things. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
(my prayer last night was VERY similar to this!!!! wow!!)
Mentally walk yourself through parking your mind in a better place by remembering an event that happened this week and looking for God’s protection, provision and process of maturing you.
Am I afraid to have honest conversations with God about how I really feel about some of my circumstances?
How might it be helpful to really talk to God about things that hurt me?
Why is it helpful to ask what now, instead of wallowing in the why questions?
Isaiah 55:8-9, “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the LORD. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.’” (NIV 1984)
God was listening. gives me chills!!!
tomorrow's friday!!!!!! have a blessed night!!!