contemplations

i've been busy the past 2 nights up at church working late on vbs scenery, so i haven't been able to write this post but i have been formulating it in my mind for several days.

i even stamped sunday night!!!!!!---made 34 cards!!!! (not all like this one!!!)

sunday morning while driving to church these thoughts popped into my head, "what if i had been more fun?"  "why am i such a boring person?"  whenever my kids or someone asks me what i want to do, i can never think of anything fun.  i can never think of anything that anyone else would want to do with me.  i can think of lots to do by myself - just sit, read, stamp or scrapbook.......

i don't want to be alone or lonely, but that's what most of my activities are.



i took a personality test awhile back.

i'm "jackie onassis" -- a sophisticated, quiet, classy woman.



me???!!!

i would say i'm more down to earth & rustic. 


like renee zellweger in "cold mountain"!!!!!




but i can wear pearls with my jeans!

i always wanted to be classy.  there's a lady at church that i admire greatly.  she's classy.  i've always said i want to be like joanne wafer - classy.  i just don't hit the mark though.  i try, but i usually say or do something stupid & look foolish.  there's another lady at church that can say ANYTHING & it comes across in the right way, funny & just right.....  i can say the SAME exact thing she says, in the SAME way, in the SAME tone of voice, & it offends people & they make some comment about how wrong or foolish or sarcastic i am.  WHY? 

and why am i not fun?

i can be fun.  in fact, just sunday night i was stamping with sarah & we laughed so hard that we cried.  joyce & i have laughed so hard we almost peed our pants!!!  (i guess you can call that fun!!!!!)  my sister maggie & i have laughed so hard that we do our "grammy laugh" (our grandmother would laugh so hard that she made this weird gasping noise.  it's embarrassing.  i hate when i laugh like that.  it usually makes me cry - not a funny cry but a sad embarrassed cry.  i hate it.  i try so hard not to do it.  sometimes it just happens.  i hate it.)

well, of course i was praying about this sunday night.  and WHAT DO YOU THINK my
proverbs31woman devotion was about monday morning??????


you guessed it!!!


God made you just the way He wants you! (my title, not theirs)

here's an excerpt:

Although my head spoke words of doubt, God was strengthening my heart with His truth. He was teaching me that His love for me and my potential weren’t tied to performance. It didn’t matter what my “resume” looked like, or what level of “success” I achieved.

He wanted me to accept His love…just as I was. This truth shouted freedom to an achievement-based woman like me.  It didn’t happen overnight, but as I learned that my value was found in being a beloved daughter of God, I realized God had never compared me to anyone. He wasn’t counting accomplishments or gauging my impact. He was simply interested in what I did with what He entrusted to me.

After years of disqualifying myself, I finally accepted that God created me unique for a reason. The way I think, my personality and talents are all tools to accomplish God’s plan for me. What I saw as flaws, He saw as potential. And the more I invested in how God made me, the greater He was glorified, and the more impactful I was at work and in  ministry.

The same is true for every woman. God’s design of you is intentional. You aren’t like your mother, sister or friend for a reason. Your life and ministry will never look like the manager you admire, the women’s ministry director at your church, or the woman who lives next door.  And that’s a good thing, because God doesn’t want you to be like them. He wants you to be YOU.

The challenge today is to release the expectations you’ve placed on yourself and explore God’s amazing plan for you. You’ll discover what I did: Everyone has something to offer.

Dear Lord, thank You for placing potential within me. Forgive me for neglecting the gifts and talents You’ve given me, or for wishing I had someone else’s abilities and experiences. Help me to embrace Your design of me, and to explore the incredible plan
You have for me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

a special card for a special 15 year old

(i've gotta work on my focusing...........but that's another post!!!)

then this thought hit me:

it doesn't matter that i'm not fun.


what's important is that i'm Christ-like.

that's what i need to strive for!  and that's what i fail at so greatly.


be blessed - or be a blessing - or be both!!!!