Sunday, April 20, 2014

5 questions

i had another post started for publication but that is being interrupted for the following.......


5 questions:

1. why is it in my house?

2. where did it come from?

3. where has it been in my house?

4. how many more are there?

5. what is it?

the answers:

1. i don't know

2. i don't know

3. i don't want to know

4. there had better not be any more


5. a SNAKE!!!!!!!!!

i may be a countrygirl, but i don't.like.snakes.

the downside of living alone -- you have to kill your own snakes!!!


today i mowed both the front & back yards, fertilized both yards, watered both yards, hung 2 loads of laundry out to dry, played with the dog & layed out on the lawn chair and never saw a single snake.

tonight i made scalloped potatoes
for church tomorrow & was sitting in the living room watching tv (yes, i have tv now) waiting for the potatoes to get done & then i was going to take a shower & get to bed so i can wake up super early for SonRise service. i had been sitting in the rocking chair in the middle of the room for a couple hours. i took the potatoes out of the oven, turned on the water in the shower & as i was walking through the dark living room, illuminated only by the tv, i spotted it!!!! a garden snake about a foot long slithering across the floor heading towards the couch!

i ran to the garage & got the shovel, praying that i'd get to the snake before he went under the couch!!

i did it!!!! he was already 1/2 way under the couch, but i scouped him out with the shovel & CHOPPED at him a couple times!!! i didn't want to cut him clear in 2 for fear that he'd still be able to slither under the couch. sucess!! he lay there, tail squirming, bleeding on my floor, while i got the camera to take his picture. (all the while my heart is beating 1000 miles an hour!!!!)


i.HATE.snakes. this is the 2nd snake that's been in my house. i don't remember how long ago it was, but i was still married, so it was over 10 years ago. it was a sunday morning, i walked into the bathroom & there was a huge dark black snake coiled up in front of the toilet. i ran screaming through the house all the way to the other side of the house yelling for my husband to hurry & go get the snake!!!! he was sitting in the living room acting like i was out of my mind. he nonchalantly asked, "what do you want me to do?" (one of the many reasons i divorced him!)

BE A MAN & GO KILL THAT DAMN SNAKE, YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!


i'm yelling at him to hurry before the snake goes somewhere & he's not moving at all. i screamed like no one has ever screamed before - GET A SHOVEL & KILL THE SNAKE - NOW!!!!!!!! i THINK he finally got off his rear & got the snake -- i don't know for sure because i was hysterical by this point!!!!

i used to get up & go to the bathroom in the middle of the night in the dark --- ever since that day, i now turn the light on & check out the entire bathrooom floor before i enter the room!!!!!! day or night!!!! but i walk around the rest of the house in the dark. i guess i'll be using lights a lot more often from now on!!!!!

i grew up in the country -- we played in cornfields & woods. i hated snakes then, but don't remember seeing any in either the cornfields or the woods!! i did see one in the barn though! i had been riding horses & was putting the saddle back in the barn. the barn was the downstairs part of a garage building that had an upstairs apartment where my grandparents lived. it was probably 150 feet from our house. i walked in to the barn carrying the saddle -- saw the snake, screamed bloody murder, threw the saddle on the ground, screamed & ran all the way to the house in .5 seconds, shut & locked the door!! my parents & brothers & sisters were all outside wondering what the heck was the matter. that saddle stayed on the ground for about a week!!!! i don't think i visited my grandparents for a whole week either!!!!

I.DON'T.LIKE.SNAKES.

i always say: if i had been the one in the garden of eden, i would have run from that snake instead of listening to him & eating the forbidden fruit!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hope i never have the opportunity to do this again. women should not have to do this. snake killing is a man's job!!! and snakes should not go into people's houses. especially women's houses!!!!!

1 comment:

nbprov32 said...

Great blog post but i really enjoyed you telling it live :-) and i am glad the snake is NOT live now! I had some potato thing at the breakfast--it was yummy. Might have been yours but i was later in line and lots of things were already mostly gone.