goodbye

goodbye.
that was the word i heard as my broken heart was ripped from my chest. thrown to the ground & blown away like dust when that door shut.

goodbye.
that was the word, along with WHY?, that played over & over in my head.

goodbye.
that is the word that i say now, in this final post on my blog. my final post on facebook. my final pin on pinterest.
i'm tired of trying to pretend that i'm the strong one. i was strong. i wanted to be strong. but i'm tired of lugging around all the broken pieces, trying so hard not to let anyone see how broken they were.

i'm tired. tired of .....tired of forgetting what i was going to say......tired of trying to hold it all together. tired of wanting so badly to be loved (by friends, by my kids, by a man.) tired of feeling so all alone in a crowd of people, whether it be at work, at church, in "blogland".

i'm alone right now. and that's the way it needs to be for now. i don't have a broken heart anymore. in its place is an empty hole. i know Jesus is the only one who can fix that, fill that hole. so for now it's gonna be just Him & me. i don't know if i'll ever write again. maybe. maybe not.

only time will tell. goodbye.